


Friend Request

by torigates



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Online Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:08:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5181464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex’s feed looked weird. For one thing, he didn’t recognize any of the people posting. He scrolled a little bit further down.</p>
<p>“That’s… weird,” he said out loud.</p>
<p>Alex scrolled back up to the top, looking to click on his profile. The only thing was: it wasn’t his profile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friend Request

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thosesamestarsx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosesamestarsx/gifts).



> Based on [this](http://www.businessinsider.com/couple-finds-love-through-facebook-glitch-2015-10) super cute story.

Alex flopped down on his couch, kicking off his shoes as he went. This wasn’t as strange as it sounded, given his couch was approximately three feet from the front door of his apartment, and the entire place made up approximately ten square feet total.

It had been a long day at work, and Alex didn’t have the energy to think about making food, let alone finding the strength to actually prepare anything. He ordered himself pizza using the app on his phone before opening Facebook. Truthfully, he didn’t know why he bothered looking most of the time. The entire thing was an exercise in frustration. If his friends weren’t getting married they were having babies, and Alex just didn’t want to deal with any of it.

Yet he couldn’t stop himself from looking.

There was something about seeing everyone with the things he wanted but didn’t have. It was like scratching a mosquito bite or picking at a scab. He just couldn’t help himself.

Alex’s feed looked weird. For one thing, he didn’t recognize any of the people posting. He scrolled a little bit further down.

“That’s… weird,” he said out loud.

Alex scrolled back up to the top, looking to click on his profile. The only thing was: it wasn’t his profile.

“Okay,” he said. “That is really fucking weird.”

He clicked around a couple places trying to log off, but he couldn’t find the option. He closed the app and reopened it with no luck. He turned off his phone and restarted the whole thing. He was still logged in to a random stranger’s account.

The dude’s name was Brendan Gallagher. Alex didn’t recognize him, and after a quick perusal of his account, it didn’t appear that they even had any mutual friends. Alex had no fucking clue how he ended up logged into this guy’s account. He clicked around a little bit more hoping--in vain--for some way to log out. Finally, he decided to post something. Maybe one of Brendan’s friends could help him out or something.

>   
> **Brendan Gallagher:** So… this is strange, but I’m NOT Brendan. I was somehow logged into his account on my phone. Can one of Brendan’s friends let him know? I’m trying to log out, but I can’t seem to figure it out.  
>  Brandon Prust, PK Subban and 4 others liked this.
> 
> **Brandon Prust replied:** This has got to be your lamest prank yet, Gally.  
>  **Brendan Gallagher replied:** Well this IS Brendan and I didn’t post that. What the fuck dude?  
>  **Carey Price replied:** try logging out under the gear icon?

Alex tried to look for the gear icon, with no luck. He even hauled himself to his feet and dusted off his old laptop, the one he hadn’t used since he finished school so he could log into Facebook on the thing. On his computer he could clearly see the option to logout, but it was just not there on his phone. And he was still logged in under this Brendan guy’s profile.

>   
> **Brendan Gallagher said:** Again, I know this is weird, but this ISN’T Brendan. I haven’t used a password or anything to get into his account but I can’t find a way to log out.  
>  Max Pacioretty, Lars Eller and 6 others like this  
>  **Brendan Gallagher:** Well, this is Brendan and I’ve been changing my password every time this happens.  
>  **Brendan Gallagher replied:** Yeah man, I’m so sorry about this. No idea what’s going on!   
> **Brendan Gallagher replied:** No worries, I know you’re not up to anything shady ;)

Alex supposed he was pretty lucky that Brendan was being so cool about the whole thing. He wasn’t sure he could say he would react the same way if some stranger was suddenly posting from his account.

Two days later they still hadn’t figured anything out, and Alex was getting tired of having to turn on his laptop every time he wanted to check his own feed. Out of curiosity, he typed Brendan’s name into the search bar.

There were a bunch of different Brendan Gallaghers out there in the world, but Alex had spent enough time looking at his Brendan’s profile to be able to find him quickly enough.

He clicked on the link to Brendan’s profile. The settings were mostly private, so Alex didn’t have as much access as he would signed in under Brendan himself. He thought again how lucky they were neither one of them were assholes about this because things could have definitely gone in a much nastier direction.

He had the ability to send Brendan a private message, and he hovered the cursor over the option for a long moment before finally clicking on it.

**Alex Galchenyuk > Brendan Gallagher**

> _Hey,_
> 
> _I’m the guy who has been logged into your account the last couple of days. Honestly, I have no clue how that happened, I just opened the app on my phone and I was logged in under your name._
> 
> _I still can’t figure out how to logout. The option isn’t even there at all. It’s so strange. I’ve never heard about anything like this happening to anyone, but it seems like a pretty big security breach. If you have any ideas on how we can get me out of your profile I’m all ears man._
> 
> _Alex_

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _Hey man,_
> 
> _It’s weird to finally put a face and name to the person who has been pretending to be me and stalking my account lol ;)_
> 
> _Nah, I’m just messing with you. You’re right, it is totally strange tho. Never heard of this happening before either. Who knows what’s going on??? I sent a message to facebook trying to get some help but they haven’t replied. I keep changing my password hoping it’ll boot you out, but no luck yet. Guess I’m stuck with you pretending to be me a little while longer._
> 
> _The REAL and SUPERIOR Brendan_

**Alex Galchenyuk > Brendan Gallagher**

> _It isn’t much of an accomplishment to say you’re the superior Brendan when you’re the only one. Trust me, I have no interest in being you._

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _WOW. I see how it is. The gloves are coming off, eh?_

**Alex Galchenyuk > Brendan Gallagher**

> _“Eh?” Oh god, are you Canadian?_
> 
> _Wait… I just checked your profile (you should probably change your password again just in case) and you are Canadian. Oh my god._

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _You’re not Canadian too? Oh no, don’t tell me you’re American._

**Alex Galchenyuk > Brendan Gallagher**

> _USA USA USA USA_

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _Oh god, we have to get you out of my profile before you get all your American cooties all over it._

Alex couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped after reading Brendan’s latest message. They still hadn’t found a way to get Alex out of Brendan’s account, and according to Brendan he still hadn’t heard back from the Facebook team about what might be causing the glitch or how to correct it.

Still, it was… fun messaging back and forth with him. He clicked the link to Brendan’s profile and hovered his cursor over the Friend Request option. After a moment he clicked on it.

**Brendan Gallagher has accepted your friend request!**

**Alex Galchenyuk > Brendan Gallagher**

> _I logged into my phone and it was under my own profile! I wonder what finally did it?_

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _Oh man, really? That’s awesome! I mean, it sucks for you, you’ll have to go back to being the inferior Gally out of the two of us :P_
> 
> _I never did hear back from Facebook so no clue what fixed it? Maybe it was when I accepted your friend request (I knew you didn’t want to be rid of me!!!)_

**Alex Galchenyuk > Brendan Gallagher**

> _I’m defriending you._

Alex kind of expected that to be the end of it. He was successfully logged back into his own account, and his laptop was stored under the bed again where it could attract dust bunnies until the next time he had to dig it out. He didn’t actually defriend Brendan because… he just didn’t. He kept thinking to himself that he would eventually, maybe after a few weeks so it wasn’t too awkward, but he never got around to actually doing it.

Brendan popped up on his feed from time to time. He posted about hockey—

**Brendan Gallagher posted:** Another tough loss for the Oilers, but my boys played tough out there!!!  
Taylor Hall, Jordan Eberle and 7 others liked this  
 **Alex Galchenyuk replied:** The oilers, really?  
 **Brendan Gallagher replied:** What? Who do you even root for? Don’t tell me you’re a soccer fan.  
 **Alex Galchenyuk replied:** Nah, hockey all the way. Go Lightning! All the way baby  
 **Brendan Gallagher replied:** At least you’re not a Bruins fan, I guess…  
View 10 more replies in this thread.

—or banal insights into his day to day life—

**Maggie Gorges with Brendan Gallagher:** Hard day for this one! Sorry girls, he already has a cuddle buddy.   
[Photo description: Brendan sitting lengthwise on a beige couch. He is wearing a Toronto Blue Jay’s baseball cap, a white v-neck t-shirt, and grey sweatpants. In his left hand he is holding a capped water bottle. His right arm is wrapped around a brown and white bulldog, his hand barely visible as he scratches the dog behind the ears, a soft, amused smile on his face.]  
Josh Gorges, Brandon Prust and 19 others like this.   
**Josh Gorges replied:** never thought a dog could be better looking than a person #thoughtwrong  
 **Alex Galchenyuk replied:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

—or his other interests—

**Brendan Gallagher posted:** pumped for #HTGAWM tonight!  
Alex Galchenyuk, PK Subban, Angela Price, and 4 others like this

—and they just had a lot in common. Alex meant to defriend him after a short period of time, but he got sucked into conversation after conversation with Brendan on their feeds. The progression between commenting on each other’s posts and sending private messages was a smooth one, so smooth Alex didn’t even notice it until it was months later and he couldn’t remember the last time he went more than a day without speaking to Brendan.

**Alex Galchenyuk with Anna Galchenyuk**  
[Image description: Photo of Alex sitting on a couch, slouched down with his jean clad legs spread. He is wearing a white t-shirt and a soft looking grey sweater. He has a brown tabby cat tucked in the crook of his right elbow, and a small white dog on his other side. His hair is fluffy and looks freshly washed. There’s a giant teddy bear on his left. It is clearly a Snapchat screenshot, the words “Naptime” across the middle]  
Alex Galchenyuk, Nail Yakupov, and 10 others like this  
 **Brendan Gallagher replied:** You have snapchat and you didn’t tell me? Dude, wtf  
 **Alex Galchenyuk replied:** Yeah, I’ll message you, relax drama queen  
View 8 more replies in this thread

From Snapchat it was a natural transition to exchange Instagram accounts, and then Alex downloaded WhatsApp on his phone so they could text, and pretty soon it wasn’t only daily that they were talking but hourly. 

Alex thought all the time about Brendan, could admit to himself that the way he felt about Brendan was more than friendship—a lot more than friendship, but he had no clue how to bring it up. And what good would it do to tell Brendan anyway? He lived in Canada, all the way on the west coast, and Alex lived in Milwaukee. Best case scenario Brendan wasn’t completely disgusted, and then what? It wasn’t like they could hang out in person. No, it was best that Alex kept his weird feelings to himself and didn’t risk losing what they _did_ have together. Better to have Brendan as a friend, even if it was a long distance one, than to not have him at all.

-

“Texting your boyfriend again?” Anna asked him one night at the dinner table.

Alex scowled and quickly put his phone back into his pocket, before she could do anything embarrassing like grab it from him and text something revealing to Brendan. The last time that happened, she and Brendan had ended up exchanging phone numbers, and the two of them talked almost as often as Brendan and Alex did. His sister was really the worst.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Alex said, for lack of anything better.

“Sure,” Anna said. It was a familiar argument between the two of them by now. Anna wanted Alex to admit to Brendan how he felt, and Alex wanted Anna to mind her own business. Neither one of them was ever gonna get what they wanted, so Alex didn’t know why they had to keep talking about it all the time. “If you would just go visit him—”

Alex sighed. “I’m not gonna just go fucking visit him, Anna, come on.”

“No you come on, why not?” She started ticking things off on her fingers. “You guys talk literally all the time, you’re head over heels in love with him, he basically wants to suck—”

“He doesn’t feel the same way,” Alex cut her off before she could get carried away. His mother was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes, and the last thing Alex wanted or needed was for her to start getting on his case in the same way.

“You’re literally the stupidest person on the face of the planet,” she told him.

Alex scowled at her.

Still, it nagged at him. Alex didn’t know why this time should be any different from the countless other times his sister had broached the topic of him going to visit Brendan, but it was. Maybe it had to do with the Snap Brendan sent him, looking rumpled and sleepy with the caption “wish you were here,” maybe it was the fact that Alex just really fucking missed him, despite the fact that they had never met in person. Maybe if they met face to face and Alex could _see_ that Brendan wasn’t interested in him as anything other than a friend, maybe he could finally move past his dumb crush.

Maybe.

Alex chickened out, but in the end the decision was taken out of his hands.

-

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _Okay, stop me if this sounds crazy but we’ve been talking nonstop for months now, like all the time every day, and I just keep thinking about you, and I just like you. I like you, Alex. So I dunno, maybe we could try to meet up somewhere? I could come out to you, or you could come here or we could meet somewhere in the middle. I don’t care, I just wanna see you._

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _Oh god. Oh god, that was so stupid. Can we just pretend I never said anything?_

**Brendan Gallagher > Alex Galchenyuk**

> _Alex? I’m sorry. Please tell me I didn’t ruin everything._

When Alex read the first message, his stomach swooped out below him, goddamn butterflies dancing inside him. The message came in at just after two in the morning, the next one almost four hours later, and the last one just a moment ago. The buzzing of his phone was what actually woke Alex up, and he was half convinced the whole thing was a dream anyway. He pinched himself, and then got up and went into the washroom. He pissed, brushed his teeth, and splashed water on his face.

The messages were still on his phone.

He grinned to himself before typing out a response with shaking hands: _so, you don’t want me to come after all?_

The time between Alex sending Brendan the message and his actual trip seemed to drag for an eternity. 

He could hardly think straight most days, unable to concentrate on work or anything else besides. He felt sick to his stomach with nerves and anxiety almost constantly. Was he crazy for doing this? But he wanted to. He couldn’t deny he wanted to see Brendan so badly, it was like a taste at the back of his throat that he couldn’t chase away no matter what he does.

He didn’t sleep on the flight, a million worst case scenarios running through his head. What if he and Brendan didn’t have anything to talk about? What if Brendan met him in person and decided he didn’t like him after all? What if Brendan hated him, or didn’t show up at all?

Brendan showed up. He was waiting in passenger pickup, his car idling. Alex caught sight of him before Brendan noticed he was there. Alex recognized him immediately, the breadth of his shoulders, the line of his jaw. Alex’s breath snagged in his throat, and he couldn’t believe he ever thought coming here would make his feelings go away.

Alex didn’t know what got Brendan’s attention, but he looked up suddenly and met Alex’s gaze. His face broke into a wide smile Alex definitely hadn’t spent more time than was healthy stalking on Facebook. His heart lurched in his chest.

They’d agreed Alex would come for a week. Alex had thought that might be too long. He knew he could be cranky and irritable and he didn’t want to wear out his welcome before he and Brendan had a chance to… whatever. But Anna convinced him it would be fine. “You two talk all day every day. I don’t think you’re going to run out of things to say to one another just because you’re suddenly face to face,” she said.

Now that Alex was here in reality, he wasn’t so sure she was right. He couldn’t think of anything to say as Brendan hopped out of the car and helped Alex load his bag into the back seat. Once he no longer had his bag to hold onto, Alex didn’t quite know what to do with his hands.

Brendan, at least, didn’t seem to have the same problem. He immediately pulled Alex into a hug, wrapping one arm around Alex’s shoulders and the other around his waist. Alex couldn’t help the way he ducked his face down into the crook of Brendan’s neck, or the way he held on too tight and for too long. 

Brendan didn’t seem to notice.

Brendan talked a mile a minute on the drive back to his apartment, and Alex let the familiar words wash over him, enjoying the chance to hear Brendan’s Canadian accent.

“What are you smiling about?” Brendan asked.

Alex chuckled quietly to himself. “Your accent,” he admitted.

“Fuck you,” Brendan said. “I don’t have an accent.”

“Dude,” Alex said. “You do. You _so_ do.”

“Oh yeah? Well, you’re one to talk.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Don’t get mad,” he says. “It’s cute.”

“Oh.” Alex watched with pleasure as the tips of Brendan’s ears turned pink. He was quiet for a few more moments before he started talking again.

Alex didn’t have a lot to say, but for once he didn’t feel awkward about it. It was just—comfortable. Easy.

Brendan had a small apartment, and he looked almost embarrassed when he let Alex into his place. “I know it’s small,” he said with a shrug.

Alex still lived with his parents and his sister. He had never not lived with them. To him, Brendan’s apartment was amazing if only for the fact that it was _his_.

“No,” he said with conviction. “It’s great.”

Brendan grinned at him.

Brendan directed him to drop his stuff in Brendan’s bedroom. Alex flushed a little thinking about the two of them sharing the small bed, but dropped his bags on the floor. They settled in Brendan’s living room, on his small couch. Their shoulders brushed up against each other, and Alex opened his mouth to say—something. He wasn’t sure what.

“Video games?” Brendan asked.

Alex nodded gratefully.

They got caught up playing together, friendly jostling and elbowing. There was a moment where Alex lost his temper, throwing the controller down to the ground, but when he turned to shout at Brendan, he was just grinning up at Alex completely unrepentant. His smile split his face practically in two, and want rose up sharp and heady in Alex’s gut.

“What?” Brendan asked, when Alex was quiet for just a moment too long.

“Nothing,” Alex said. “Just that you are a complete and utter shit.”

“Hey!”

Brendan swatted at him, and Alex swatted back, and the next thing he knew the two of them were crashing down to the ground in a heap. Alex felt the breath get knocked out of Brendan in a loud whoosh, and when he went to pull back he was stopped by Brendan’s leg hooked around the back of his knee. His weight dropped back down, his body resting in the cradle of Brendan’s hips. Alex sucked in a breath.

Brendan was still grinning at him.

“God, you’re easy,” he said.

Alex scowled and pushed himself back up.

They got takeout for dinner, the two of them balancing their food on their knees as they watched a hockey game on TV.

Alex crowed smugly when the Habs beat the Oilers. Brendan scowled at him and turned off the television. “You aren’t even Canadian,” Brendan mumbled.

Alex smirked at him. 

There was a moment where they just kind of looked at each other, before Brendan glanced down and away. “I guess we should get ready for bed?”

All the ease and comfort that had been in his voice and body language all night was suddenly gone. He hovered awkwardly, getting Alex clean towels and showing him the bathroom, even though Alex had already used it more than once tonight.

“So, uh,” he said, at the edge of the bedroom. He scratched the back of his neck, and Alex watched the way his arm flexed attractively. “I’m gonna sleep on the couch?”

“Huh?” Alex asked, shaking himself out of his reverie. “What?”

“I’m gonna crash on the couch. Give you the bed. Being a good host, and all.” He tried to smile but it came off forced.

“Oh,” Alex said. “I mean, I thought—”

“Yeah?”

He shook his head. “Never mind. I can take the couch.”

“No,” Brendan told him. “Really, it’s fine. Besides, I don’t think you’d even fit. Your feet would be hanging off, you giant.”

“All right,” Alex said hesitantly. “If you’re sure?”

Brendan nodded and turned to go, closing the door behind him.

Alex climbed into the bed and turned off the light. He thought—well, it didn’t matter what he thought, clearly he was wrong. His face burned with embarrassment, and he was glad there was no one around to see. Brendan’s bed smelled like him, and Alex’s throat felt tight. God, he was such a fucking idiot.

-

He woke up the next morning and gave himself ten minutes to lie in Brendan’s bed. Then he forced himself to get up and brush his teeth. If he stayed there any longer he was likely to start jerking off, given how good the bed smelled, and how much Alex had thought about being here. With Brendan. But that would just be awkward and humiliating given Brendan had slept on the couch last night.

Brendan was still asleep on the couch when Alex got out to the living room. Despite what he said about Alex being too long, his feet were hanging off the end of the couch, and his face was pressed into the armrest, his hair sticking up every which way. Alex forced himself to go into the kitchen and open the fridge instead of doing something stupid like reaching out to brush Brendan’s hair away from his face.

He managed to find some cereal, and boiled himself some water for tea. He was eating breakfast at the kitchen table when Brendan came stumbling blearily in. He was wearing only boxers and a threadbare t-shirt that rode up when he scratched at his stomach. Alex jerked his eyes up from where he was staring at the faint trail of hair going down into Brendan’s waistband, and definitely didn’t think about getting his mouth on it.

“Morning,” Brendan said around a yawn.

Alex grunted at him.

Brendan didn’t take Alex’s grouchiness personally, or maybe he just didn’t notice, still half asleep. He moved around the kitchen getting himself his own bowl of cereal and pressing buttons on the coffeemaker until it gurgled to life.

“So I was thinking we could go to the park today, and there’s a brewery tour that’s pretty good,” Brendan said once he was settled at the table with his breakfast. “I booked the week off work so I can show you around and stuff.”

Alex nodded. “Sounds good,” he says.

Brendan took him to the park, which wasn’t like the small neigbourhood playground Alex was expecting. The scenery was amazing, and they went for a hike, and it was a lot of fun. Despite Alex’s fears, they didn’t run out of things to say to each other. On the contrary, conversation flowed smoothly and easily. They talked about hockey, and work, and family. Everything and nothing.

It stayed that way through the rest of Alex’s visit. Brendan showed Alex around where he grew up, his old school, all his favourite hangout spots. They went to a movie one evening and shared a bag of popcorn. Another day they didn’t leave Brendan’s apartment, lounging on his couch and watching trashy daytime television, Brendan’s feet tucked under one of Alex’s thighs. They went whale watching.

Despite how well things went and how easy it was between them, the more time passed, the more Alex was convinced Brendan had changed his mind about liking Alex, or maybe he never liked him that way. He slept on the couch every night, even when Alex offered to trade off with him, and hadn’t tried to make any kind of move. Disappointment churned hot and thick in his gut whenever he thought about it, but he couldn’t help the way he pressed close to Brendan. The way he leaned against him on the couch, or slung his arm around the back of Brendan’s chair, or the way he just _wanted_ him. He wanted him so bad.

Brendan wiggled his toes under Alex’s thigh, pulling them out after a moment and poking him in the side. Alex scowled at him. “Quit it.”

Brendan grinned at him but didn’t stop, poking Alex again. Alex huffed out an annoyed breath and grabbed Brendan’s ankle, pulling both his feet into Alex’s lap. Brendan went still before settling down further into the couch. Alex kind of panicked for a moment, not sure to do with his hands or how long Brendan planned on staying like this, but he focused on the television and not on the way Brendan’s skin felt under his palms or the delicate curve of his ankles. 

Brendan fell asleep sometime later, Alex didn’t notice when. His eyes kept darting away from the screen against his will and catching on the line of Brendan’s jaw, the way his arms bulged out of his shirt even while asleep, the breadth of his shoulders. God, maybe coming here _was_ a mistake. Being so close but not being able to have was a lot harder than he expected it to be.

Quietly, he turned of the television and extricated himself from under Brendan’s feet.

“Alex?” Brendan asked sleepily.

“Yeah?” Alex whispered.

“Where’re you going?”

“To bed,” Alex said. “It’s late. You’re asleep.”

“’m up,” Brendan said. His eyes weren’t even open.

Alex chuckled. “It’s okay.” He reached out and brushed Brendan’s hair away from his face, unable just this once to keep himself from touching. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“’kay,” Brendan said. “G’night.”

“Night,” Alex said.

-

_so??_ Anna texted him on his second last night in Delta. _are you guys married yet? Engaged? Boning???_

Alex sighed to himself, and debated ignoring her. _No_ , he texted back. _I don’t think he likes me like that_

_????_  
I saw the message he sent you that’s crazy  
What did you do?  
Alex???? 

Alex scowled down at his phone. _Why do you assume I did something?_

Anna didn’t reply. After five minutes Alex huffed in exasperation.

_I didn’t do anything! At least nothing I can think of_

_Did you tell him you like him?_

Alex stared at his phone. It chirped again a moment later.

_Alex!! You need to tell him how you feel. Do you want to come home with nothing to show for it? You’re going to wonder if you don’t, and I don’t want to deal with your sulking annoying ass_

Alex sighed. She was right. And worse, he knew she was right.

The only problem remained how to tell Brendan. He opened and shut his mouth to say something so many times he lost count. Brendan kept shooting him weird looks all night.

“You okay over there, bud?” he asked.

Alex opened his mouth. Shut it. Nodded. “Yeah,” he managed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Brendan didn’t look convinced, and Alex didn’t even want to know what his own expression was doing right now. He was so stupid. Such a coward. God, what was the matter with him?

“Are you sure?” Brendan asked. “Your face is kinda doing—a thing.”

“Shut up,” Alex muttered. “My face is fine.”

Brendan shook his head but didn’t push it, and suddenly, Alex just couldn’t take it anymore. “What did I do?” he blurted. “Why don’t you like me anymore?”

“Why don’t I – what? What?”

Alex looked down. “Why don’t you like me anymore? You said you did, what changed? I thought—” he cut himself off. “Whatever, it’s stupid. Never mind.”

Brendan stared at him. “Are you—are you fucking kidding me right now?”

That was… not the response Alex was expecting. “Uh,” he said. “No?”

“God,” Brendan said. “Jesus fucking Christ you are such a moron, I can’t believe I like you!”

“I’m not a – wait, what? You like me? Then why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you make a move?”

Brendan threw up his hands. “Are you kidding me? I _did_ say something. I told you I liked you and invited you here! _You’re_ the one who didn’t say anything. I thought you didn’t like me that way and were letting me down easy.”

“Oh,” Alex said.

“Yeah,” Brendan replied. “ _Oh_.”

“So, you – you do like me?”

“ _Yes_ , you absolute fucking moron.”

“Oh,” Alex said. He smiled slowly.

“Stop smiling,” Brendan said. “Your face is dumb.” He was smiling himself.

“You like it,” Alex said, unable to bite down on his grin. “You like my dumb face.”

Brendan rolled his eyes heavenward but stepped closer to Alex. He put his hands on Alex’s hips and leaned in until their faces were nearly touching. “Yeah,” he said. “I really do.”

He smiled into the kiss, and Alex thought that nothing could be better. Then he wasn’t thinking too much anymore.

Brendan’s hand was hot and heavy on Alex’s jaw. He pulled Alex’s mouth open as he kissed him deeper, his thumb tracing over Alex’s beard. He pressed Alex down into the cushions of his couch, slotting between Alex’s legs. 

“Wanted to do this since the second you got here,” Brendan panted against Alex’s mouth. “You’re so hot, god. Can’t believe you came here, can’t believe you even like me.” His hands were skimming up and down Alex’s sides, over his chest and stomach. 

He reached down between their bodies and palmed Alex’s hard cock through his pants. Alex groaned and arched his hips up off the couch, chasing Brendan’s touch. 

Brendan kissed him again, his lips trailing down Alex’s neck and biting down on the juncture between his throat and shoulder. Alex shoved a little at his shoulder, and when he pulled away Alex tugged his shirt up and off. 

Brendan stared at him openly, and Alex felt himself flushing. 

“You too,” Alex said after a moment, when Brendan’s gaze got to be a little too much. 

Brendan rushed to pull his own shirt off, and then it was Alex’s turn to stare. Brendan’s shoulders and arms had always been a particular drawing point for Alex, but seeing them revealed, a canvas of warm naked skin, was more than a little overwhelming. Alex reached out, trailing his hands over Brendan’s shoulders, squeezing his biceps, before pressing his palms to Brendan’s abs. He was so thick in the middle, sturdy and strong. Alex wanted to wrap his legs around his waist, feel Brendan hold him down, take him. 

He groaned. 

“Fuck, Alex,” Brendan said. He stood and pushed his pants down over his hips. His cock sprung free, and Alex couldn’t help the way he leaned forward, taking Brendan in his hand. Brendan groaned loudly, his hips jerking forward, and Alex got his hands around Brendan’s hips and pulled him forward. 

Brendan stepped between Alex’s spread legs, and Alex ducked his head just a little, sucking on the head of Brendan’s cock. 

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Brendan said. He slid his fingers into Alex’s hair and pulled hard. Alex’s head snapped back, the salty taste of Brendan’s precome filling his mouth and making it water. 

He curled his tongue around the underside of the head. He slid his hands around, tucking his fingers into the crease of Brendan’s ass. 

Brendan’s hips jerked forward, forcing his cock deeper into Alex’s mouth, and Alex choked a little, pulling off. 

“Sorry,” Brendan said, smoothing a hand through Alex’s hair. 

Alex smiled at him. “S’okay,” he said. 

Brendan tugged on Alex’s pants, and Alex lifted his hips, helping to pull them down and off. 

“Can I fuck you?” Brendan asked him. 

Alex’s cock jerked at that, and Brendan’s hand came to cup him, jerking him slowly once, then again. 

“Fuck,” Alex groaned. “Yes, yes, please.” 

Brendan leaned forward. He kissed Alex slowly and carefully, his hands on either side of Alex’s face, tilting his head back and making Alex feel covered and cared for. 

“Turn over for me?” he asked. 

Brendan arranged Alex so his torso was draped over the couch, his knees planted and spread on the rough carpet. He ran a proprietary hand down Alex’s spine down to the swell of his ass. Alex folded his arms in front of him, burying his face. 

Brendan kissed the base of his spine once, open mouthed and wet. The next thing Alex knew he could feel Brendan’s thumb running between his cheeks, spreading him open. There was the blunt thickness of the head of Brendan’s cock sliding along the crease, made smooth by sweat and precome. 

Brendan’s hands gripped his hips tightly. Alex hoped there might be bruises there later, and he focused on the sharp bite of pain to stop himself from rutting forward against the thick canvasy material of Brendan’s couch. 

He was so caught up in cataloguing the sensations that he missed Brendan getting to his knees behind Alex. The touch of his tongue on Alex’s hole had him jerking forward. “Fuck!” he shouted. 

Brendan held him down, licking over and over again with the flat of his tongue on Alex’s hole. Alex was babbling, curses and Brendan’s name, pleas for him to keep going, not to stop, please, fuck, don’t stop. 

“I won’t,” Brendan said. He pressed a finger in along with his tongue, then two. The stretch of it burned in the best possible way, and when he rubbed up against Alex’s prostate, Alex let out a loud keening noise he almost didn’t recognize as coming from himself. 

“Yeah,” Brendan said. “Yeah, fuck, that’s it, baby. You look so good, come on, take it for me.” 

Like Alex had a choice. He held on to the couch cushions as Brendan’s mouth and fingers worked him higher and higher. 

“Fuck, Brendan,” Alex moaned. “Please, I want--can you fuck me? Please.” 

“Shit,” Brendan said, fingers jerking inside Alex’s ass and pressing hard on his prostate. “Yeah, fuck. I gotta--” he pulled his fingers out. “Condom. One sec.” 

Alex pressed his face into the crook of his elbow and didn’t move. Brendan was back a moment later, his body warm and solid at Alex’s back. 

His fingers pressed into Alex again, wetter and slicker this time with lube. He didn’t make Alex wait much longer, the wide head of his cock pressing against Alex’s ass. 

“Yes,” he groaned. “Yes, fuck. Brendan, put it in me, come _on_.” 

Brendan did then, fucking into Alex with one smooth stroke. He wasn’t very long, but he was _thick_ , and Alex felt it everywhere. His fingers scrambled on the couch cushions and his hips jerked forward, dragging his cock over the abrasive material. 

“I’m gonna jizz on your couch,” Alex slurred. 

Brendan laughed, loud and sharp in the apartment, his hips fucking forward hard into Alex. Alex had never laughed during sex before, but it felt right. Felt right to be laughing while Brendan fucked him, nailing his prostate perfectly with every stroke. 

“Oh god, oh god,” he said, his chuckles breaking off into moans. “Please, please, come on.” 

Brendan’s hand snaked between Alex’s body and the couch, his palm cupping the head of Alex’s cock. The rough-smooth drag of his calloused hand over Alex’s skin felt amazing after the too harsh material of the couch and it only took five more strokes before Alex was shaking and coming, clenching down around Brendan’s cock. 

Brendan fucked him through it and beyond. Alex could barely feel his legs or arms, could barely feel anything other than the long drag of Brendan’s cock inside him sending shaky pleasure-pain shocks of pleasure through him. 

Brendan was grunting above him, his chest plastered to Alex’s back as their hips clapped together, and when he came he bit down hard on the meat of Alex’s shoulder. 

The two of them slumped over to the side, half on the couch and half on the floor. Alex didn’t want to move ever, but Brendan arranged the two of them in a somewhat comfortable heap, a tangle of limbs. He put a hand on Alex’s cheek, turning his head so they could kiss. 

Alex’s knees and back ached, but he never wanted to move ever again.

-

They spent the next day and a half in Brendan’s bed, barely even leaving to get food. “Coulda been doing this all along,” Brendan panted as Alex sucked his dick. “God, you’re such an asshole.”

Alex almost missed his flight because they were late leaving Brendan’s apartment. Brendan drove him to the airport, double parking in the passenger drop off lane, and kissing Alex deep and wet. He dipped Alex back, like the asshole he was, and Alex tried to pretend like he wasn’t a little bit breathless.

There was a huge hickey on the underside of his jaw that he didn’t notice until he got through security, the guard smirking at him as he patted Alex down.

_you’re the worst_ , Alex captioned his Snapchat of the hickey.

_miss u already_ Brendan replied. It was a selfie of him blowing a kiss. Alex took a screenshot.

-

It was nice to be home again, Alex couldn’t deny that he missed sleeping in his own bed, but he missed Brendan more, with a fierce aching longing that he doesn’t really know how to handle.

They resumed their constant correspondence, and although their Snaps and texts took on a decidedly filthier tone, it wasn’t the same as being together. Wasn’t the same as having Brendan with him and under him. Wasn’t the same as being able to reach out and touch him whenever he wanted, being able to look across the room and see Brendan’s stupid annoying smile.

Alex wanted that. He wanted it a lot.

But Alex knew what he was like. He knew he was needy, that he always wanted attention, and that he could be… a lot.

He chased people away sometimes with his intensity, he knew that about himself, and that was the last thing he wanted to happen with Brendan. He pulled back, just a little. He always replied to Brendan’s messages, but he didn’t initiate often. Didn’t prolong the conversation longer than he really needed to.

It made missing Brendan so much worse, but it was better to have a little bit of him than none of him. Alex would take what he could get.

Brendan started to message Alex less. Not a lot, but enough to be noticeable.

“Why don’t you go visit him again?” Anna asked. “You said things were good when you were there, right?”

“I can’t just fly across the continent! He doesn’t even want to see me, that’s the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

Anna stared at him unimpressed. “Well, here’s a crazy idea. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?”

Alex scowled at her. That wasn’t going to work.

-

_Thinking about you_. The Snap came in just after one in the morning. Alex wasn’t even really awake, just kind of dozing while he scrolled through Instagram. The picture was of Brendan from the shoulders up, clearly lying in bed. His hair was pushed up on one side giving him a hilarious cowlick. There was a soft, quiet smile on his face that made Alex’s chest ache.

Alex flipped his phone to selfie mode, holding it above him at arm’s length. He was shirtless, the picture capturing a good portion of his chest. _Me too_ he typed as a caption. Then, _Miss you_.

_God, you’re hot_ , Brendan typed back in the chat. _Wish I was there with you. Wanna touch you so bad_.

Alex groaned in the quiet of his bedroom. He pushed his boxers down over his hips, wrapping his hand around his dick. Fuck, that felt good. _want that too_ , he typed. 

Brendan sent him another snap. This time of his lower abs and hips, his cock visibly hard in his underwear. 

Alex replied with a shot of his dick, fist tight around the base. He was too turned on to type out any message, but the picture would get his point across well enough. 

Brendan sent Alex his own dick pic, his balls tucked under the elastic of his boxers, lifting his entire package. Alex’s mouth watered at the thought of getting his tongue on Brendan’s skin. 

_wanna suck you_ , he typed. 

_fuck_ was Brendan’s reply. 

Alex kept his right hand on his dick, typing sloppily with the left. _want you to fuck me_. 

_oh shit. oh shit oh shit oh shit, Alex. want that. want you. are you touching yourself?_

Alex ran his hand up his dick, catching the precome at the tip and spreading it around, making everything slick and smooth. He reached down under his balls, pressing two fingers on his asshole, imagining it was Brendan. 

He snapped another photo, burning with embarrassment as he sent it to Brendan.

Brendan didn’t reply for a long moment. Alex’s stomach churned with shame and want, imagining what Brendan was doing, imagining him seeing Alex like that, spread out and wanting him. 

_holy fucking shit Alex I just came_

God, Alex wanted that. Wanted to be there to see Brendan come. To be the one making him. He wrapped his hand tighter around his cock, fucking his hips up into the tight heat of it and imagined it was Brendan’s hand. Imagined it was Brendan here with him now, touching him and making him feel good. That he was saying those things out loud, whispering hot and filthy in Alex’s ear and grinning the whole time. 

His orgasm built, spreading out through his whole body and making him shake. One more picture came through, a shot of Brendan’s stomach and neck, jizz pooling in his navel, with drops of it all the way up to the hollow of his throat. Alex did that. He came, shooting all over himself, and dropping his phone on his face. 

“Ow,” he said out loud. He took his own photo and sent it to Brendan, before putting his phone down on the centre of his sternum.

Alex watched his phone rise and fall on his heaving chest for a long moment before finally picking it up. He opened the chat window again.

_That was good_ he typed, stared at it for a moment, deleted it.

His fingers hovered over his keyboard, and Alex knew he had to say something, but he honestly didn’t have the first clue what.

_Are you mad at me?_ he typed finally. He hesitated a long moment before finally pressing send.

The little blue _Brendan is typing a message_ seemed to be mocking him. It took forever for Brendan’s message to come through, and when it did, all it said was _right now?_

Alex sucked in a deep breath and held it. He counted to ten before releasing it. _In general_ he replied.

There was another long pause before Brendan’s reply came through. _Sorta? Or I dunno, I kinda assumed you were mad at me, I guess_.

Alex felt like there was lead in his gut. _I’m not mad at you_ , he replied. It’s the only part he knew how to respond to.

_That’s good_ , Brendan said. Then, _how come you stopped texting me so much? I felt like I was bothering you all the time_.

Alex stared at the message. That… That was unexpected. _Skype?_ he finally replied.

Brendan looked even sleepier than he did in the first picture he’d sent Alex. He was shirtless now too, and Alex had to force himself not to let his eyes linger on Brendan’s shoulders, his biceps.

“Hey,” Alex said. He smiled.

The corner of Brendan’s mouth quirked up, and some of the anxiety Alex had been feeling for the last few weeks eased. “Hi,” he said.

“I’m not mad at you,” Alex blurted. “I just didn’t—didn’t want you to get sick of me.” It sounded stupid when he said it out loud. He felt his face burn with embarrassment.

When he looked up, Brendan was staring at him with a complicated mix of emotions playing across his face. “Dude,” he said eventually. “I’m not gonna get sick of you, I lo—”

Alex sucked in a breath.

“Shit,” Brendan said.

Alex’s heart felt like it was about to beat right out of his chest. He pinched his mouth trying to bite down on a smile, but he couldn’t. He felt giddy and overwhelmed and—

“Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?” Brendan asked.

Alex looked up at him, still smiling. “No,” he said.

Brendan scowled at him. “Dude, come on. Don’t be an asshole about this.”

Alex kept smiling. “I’m not,” he said. “But I’m not gonna forget. In fact, I think you should say it again.”

Brendan crossed his arms over his chest. His arms bulged attractively, and Alex let himself look outright. God, he was so lucky. He was so _happy_.

“No,” Brendan said. “I’m not gonna say it again. I already feel like a huge idiot.”

“What?” Alex asked. “Why?”

Brendan rolled his eyes heavenward, like dealing with Alex is the most exasperating thing in the entire world. But for once, it didn’t make Alex feel like Brendan was about to run or get sick of him. He wouldn’t, he _wouldn’t_ because he loved Alex.

“Because you’re so—I mean, look at you! And you’re snarky and funny, and considerate, and just, whatever. I know I’m not—” The rest of his sentence was muffled.

“You’re not what?” Alex asks.

“I’m not good enough for you,” Brendan said. There was a hint of defiance on his face, and it just made Alex’s heart skip a goddamn beat in his chest because his boyfriend was the stupidest person on the face of the planet. And yet.

And yet.

“You’re a moron,” Alex said.

Brendan opened his mouth.

“I love you.”

Brendan’s teeth shut with an audible clack that Alex could hear clearly, even across the Skype connection. Slowly, a grin broke out across Brendan’s face, and Alex wished desperately he could reach out and touch. Press his thumb to the corner of Brendan’s mouth, drag him in for a kiss.

“Hell yeah, you do,” Brendan said.

“Shut up, you love me too.”

“Do I though?” Brendan asked, although it was there in his eyes.

“You do,” Alex said confidently.

“Hell yeah, I do,” Brendan agreed.


End file.
